What Coaching Is - And Isn't.
What Coaches Do - And Don't Do. 

If you have never experienced coaching before the best way to find out what does, and doesn't happen, during a session is to contact me to book a free 'try it out' session.

Coaching is a process - just about any problem you want to solve or dream you want to achieve can be brought to a coaching session. If you're curious about the reasons other people have chosen to work with me, click here. 

  “Five frogs are sitting on a log.  Four decide to jump off. How many are left? Answer: five.  Why? Because there's a difference between deciding and doing” 
Mark L. Feldman & Michael F. Spratt,  'Five Frogs on a Log'

Coaching is not about deciding to change your life. It's about taking action that will change your life.
Be a frog that jumps!

And click here to find out how other peoples' lives changed when they jumped.

 As your coach I provide :

•  A totally accepting and non-judgemental presence
• 100% confidentiality
• Unwavering support and an enabling structure
• Powerful questions that help you to clarify your thinking and which trigger new insights, ideas, perspectives and behaviours
• Knowledge, skills and experience
• Tools, techniques, and signposts to other resources
• And – when appropriate and requested – advice and suggestions

 You can expect me to : 

• Insist that you take yourself seriously, put yourself first when necessary and believe in the importance of your hopes and dreams
• Challenge you if you 'play small' or let your 'internal saboteur' make your decisions or inform your actions
• Listen - not just to what you are saying but to how you are saying it. To both  the words and the feelings behind the words. To listen for what rings true and what doesn't; for where things flow and where there is resistance. To listen for where you come alive and where the energy drops.

You may feel that you get much of the above from your close friends or partner.

But even if you do,  when people are personally involved with you it’s difficult for them not to have any ‘agenda' of their own. They may be protective - not wanting you to 'expect too much' and be disappointed. They may worry that if you change the relationship will change - and they will have to change too. They may have a tendency to 'help' by giving 'good advice' rather than having the skills, and patience, to help you work out for yourself what is best for you.

There may also be aspects of yourself that you feel uncomfortable sharing with friends whereas there is no part of yourself that you cannot bring to your coaching – if you want to and when it feels safe enough to do so.

Nor can we always expect our friends to be there for us week in week out. They probably have busy lives too. And sometimes they will want to talk about themselves not you - which is a perfectly reasonable thing for a friend to want to do.

Whereas as your coach I'm 100% focused on you - all the time. I have no preconceptions about what is best for you, how you should live or what you should do. I believe that the only person that can make those decisions is you.

What is the difference between coaching and therapy?

According to the International Coaching Federation : 

Coaching is a profession that supports personal and professional growth and development. It is forward moving and future focused. The emphasis is on action, accountability and follow through. Therapy, on the other hand, deals with healing pain and dysfunction where the focus is often on resolving difficulties arising from the past which hamper an individual's emotional functioning in the present.

However, in my experience, some clients choose to come into coaching for exactly the same reasons that others may decide to have counselling/therapy. We all have a ‘history’ and we all have wounds which may negatively impact our confidence, our perception of what is possible for us and our willingness to take action/initiate change. The factors that can hinder our "growth and development" may well be linked to past 'pain and dysfunction'. The difference is in the approach. Coaching acknowledges these wounds but encourages you to focus on the future rather than the past, on what is right with you rather than what is wrong with you, on what you can do rather than what you can’t do and on how to train your own mind to be your ‘best friend’ rather than your ‘worst enemy’. You do not have to ‘fix yourself’ before you can move forward.

However, our actions are influenced by our thoughts and feelings and, in addition to having goals they wish to achieve, clients may describe themself as 'depressed', 'anxious', 'stressed' or suffering from low self-esteem/lack of confidence. Thus my coaching often also includes those approaches and techniques that come under the heading of  'Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) including, for those who wish to incorporate mindfulness meditation into their life, Mindfulness-Based CBT (MBCT). In fact, CBT resembles coaching much more than it resembles more long-standing therapeutic approaches...(more)

Below is an extract from a recent testimonial (the full text is on the What Clients Say page) which I think demonstrates that the boundary between when to work with a coach and when to work with a counsellor is not always clear cut.

"A couple of years ago, I was at a very low point in my life. I was jobless, directionless and terribly heartbroken from the split of a long term relationship. I did not know how to fit into this world. I had no dreams and certainly no self esteem …..and thought there was no hope for me. It was a bleak place to be. When I first spoke to Lynda I believed I was a lost cause, and was very resistant to the small steps she was asking me to take, thinking them insignificant. But before very long, I began to notice some small changes which soon became bigger things. She challenged my negativity and helped me to understand the destructive patterns that have been with me all my life, replacing them with healthy positive ones. And so the process had begun - of Lynda helping me move from a very dark place to a light place. Within a year my life changed enormously. I put in a lot of work, and I now have a blossoming career. I am clearer about what I want, which direction I need my life to move in, my self esteem is the best it has ever been, I have even opened myself to having a relationship again, but best of all – I’ve got my dreams back. … Her help to me has been invaluable during a very difficult and transitional time in my life."