Why Coaching?
My coaching practice is called 'Coaching on the Edge'. Edges can be seen as places of transition because they represent the boundary between two different states or conditions. At these boundaries, there is often a sense of uncertainty and ambiguity, as one moves from an existing state to a new one. Sometimes the specific form of the new state is not yet known. There is just a strong call to change. Edges can therefore be both exciting and challenging, as they offer the potential for growth and transformation, but may also be seen as involving risk and the possibility of failure. At the very least, transitions can feel uncomfortable
Coaching helps individuals to navigate stepping across these edges; exploring and working through fears, doubts and limiting beliefs, and developing the skills and mindset needed to thrive while in transition
It helps you to :
- Clarify and achieve your goals
- Keep focused, motivated and 'in action' so that momentum is maintained and results are achieved more quickly
- Generate new perspectives on old problems and identify new ways of doing things
- Overcome limiting habits and beliefs
- and so much more
My role is to provide :
- A totally accepting and non-judgemental presence
- 100% confidentiality
Unwavering support and an enabling structure
- Both deep listening and powerful questions that help you to clarify your thinking and trigger new insights, ideas, perspectives and behaviours
- Knowledge, skills and experience when appropriate
- Tools, techniques, and signposts to other resources
You can expect me to :
- Insist that you take yourself seriously, put yourself first when necessary and believe in the importance of your hopes and dreams
- Always be your champion. Believe in you even when you don't
- Challenge you if you 'play small' or let your 'internal saboteur' make your decisions or inform your actions
- Listen - not just to what you are saying but to how you are saying it. To both the words and the feelings behind the words. To listen for what rings true and what doesn't; for where things flow and where there is resistance.
To listen for where you come alive and where the energy drops
As your coach I'm 100% focused on you - all the time. I have no preconceptions about what is best for you, how you should live or what you should do. I believe that the only person that can make those decisions is you.
I do know that I can help you to do that
You can find more about the type of coaching I am certified in on the Co-Active Coaching page
I have some great friends. Can’t they provide what a coach provides?
Talking with a friend may be helpful, but when people are personally involved with you it’s difficult for them not to have any ‘agenda' of their own. They may be protective - not wanting you to 'expect too much' and be disappointed. They may worry that if you change the relationship will change - and they will have to change too. They may have a tendency to 'help' by giving 'good advice' rather than having the skills, and patience, to help you work out for yourself what is best for you
There may also be aspects of yourself that you feel uncomfortable sharing with friends whereas there is no part of yourself that you cannot bring to your coaching – if you want to and when it feels safe enough to do so.
Any thought, any feeling
Nor can we always expect our friends to be there for us week in week out. They probably have busy lives too. And sometimes they will want to talk about themselves not you - which is a perfectly reasonable thing for a friend to want to do. But coaches talk only about you
What is the difference between coaching and therapy?
In coaching the emphasis is on what is possible in the future rather than on what has happened in the past. Coaching is solution-based, using powerful techniques (tools, support, and structure) to clarify your goals, values, purpose, and vision and to keep you focused on your priorities
According to Jean-Paul Sartre
“We only become what we are by the radical and deep-seated refusal
of that which others have made of us”
By “what we are” he means what we are capable of being – our true self
We all have a ‘history’ and we all have wounds which inform our perception of what is and what is not possible for us
Coaching acknowledges the existence of these wounds (which often show up as the voice of the Internal Saboteur) but encourages you to focus on the future rather than the past, on what is right with you rather than what is wrong with you, on what you can do rather than what you can’t do and on how to turn your own mind into your ‘best friend’ rather than your ‘worst enemy’. You do not have to ‘fix yourself’ before you can move forward
The What Clients Say page gives some examples of how others have benefited from working with me
All of the statements below are reasons why people have chosen to work with me
Some of the issues may seem quite 'small' and specific (eg time management) and are sometimes referred to as "small 'a'" agendas, rather than indicating a desire for a major life review. But coaching is such a powerful and transformational process that people often end up growing and developing in ways they never anticipated, leading them into a much 'bigger' life. Their "big 'A'" agenda
"My life is OK – but is this all there is? But maybe I should be satisfied with what I’ve got.
After all, I’m better off than a lot of people"
"I’m feeling stuck at work. I like the organisation and enjoy many aspects of my job.
But I’m not sure where to go from here"
"I really need a change. I’ve stayed in this job for financial reasons and security but I would love to be doing something that fills me with a sense of excitement and anticipation when I wake up in the morning"
"I’ve got a good job but I’ve reached a stage in my life where I’d like to be making more of a difference, contributing in some way. Is it possible to make a difference and make a living?"
"There’s never enough time, I always feel rushed and, no matter how hard I try, I can’t find enough time or energy for my family/friends/interests/fun/studying"
"I wish I were more confident and better at setting boundaries. I say ‘yes’ when I want to say ‘no’ and let people get away with things that really aren’t OK with me"
"I really need to make a decision about ..........But I'm worried about making the wrong decision and keep going round in circles. I just don't know how to decide"
"I'm having a really difficult time at work with my manager/boss. It's making me very unhappy and i don't know where to get any help with the situation"
"I enjoy being a leader/manager and I want to do it really well. But managing people is challenging and I don’t feel I’m getting the training or support that I need"
"I've been trying to get my business off the ground, but so far it's not happening"
"My business is going well but I feel as though I'm going under.
How can I get better organised and stay "ahead of the game"
"I’ve been feeling quite down and anxious recently and just don’t seem to be able to move forward – but I've had therapy/counselling before and it doesn't feel like what I need at the moment"
"Life’s good but I have some dreams I’d like to follow. I just don’t seem to be able to find enough time to stay focused on moving forward with them"
"I really enjoy my art/writing/photography…. – I’d love to do it full-time but
I’m scared I wouldn’t be able to make a living from it"
"I’m not a religious person but I do feel a need for a spiritual dimension in my life.
I’m just not sure exactly what that means for me or where to start looking"
"I'm feeling lonely, would like more friends, and perhaps I'm ready to find a relationship"
"My current relationship isn’t really working for me. I don’t know whether to stay or go"
"I’ve always known I’m gay but I’ve been too scared to tell anyone or to come out.
But I don’t want to ‘live a lie’ for the rest of my life"
"It was such a shock to realise I was attracted to someone of the same sex. I don’t know where to go from here"
"I’m so stressed and my doctor says my health is at risk. But I just don’t know where to start.
There are so many things that I can’t change"
Do you have a small 'a' or big 'A' agenda that is not on this list?
If so, you might like to discuss it with me